btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
