Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
