I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
