ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
