I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
