how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
