He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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