I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
