capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
