cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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