Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
