so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
