Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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