he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize