its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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