i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
someone owes me an orgasm
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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