who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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