So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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