jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
