It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
