Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
