I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
