About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
