In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
