i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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