We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize