so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
