I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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