He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize