I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just want nice things and good sex
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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