There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
So much rum. So many feels.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
