We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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