Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
