Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
