At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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