I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
