he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
