Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
