I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
