I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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