you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
