The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
