we're blogging at a bar
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
not ubering you a puppy
Randomize
