Its about making memories worth repressing
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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