So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
