She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
