maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
A+ Viking dick
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
