fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
