I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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