Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
