i'm lost and i look like a hooker
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
