the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I think your dad took our porno
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
