I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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