Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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