these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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