why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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