Ambien. No doubt about it.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
