they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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