peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
My vagina just recognized that song.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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