Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
