Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Barsexuality is the new black.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize