Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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