Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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