It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
He passed out mid-signature
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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